"I thought we were getting along, but he stopped texting me all of a sudden. Should I text him again? How do I get him to text me back?"
A girl wrote me this above e-mail about a guy she had been out with twice. It has become so common for guys to stop texting girls that I thought I should devote an article to it. While texting between two people of the opposite sex can help ignite a romance, it can also lead to heartbreak.
Here is some insight on the male texting psychology, the reason guys stop texting girls, and what you should do about it. You can scroll to the bottom of the page if you want to simply get to the solution.
The Typical Confusing Guy-Girl Texting Situation
First off, although you want the guy to text you back, beware of getting into a relationship where all the other person wants to do is text, but not have a real relationship.
However, in general, boys and men love getting girls' phone numbers and juggling them around. It seems that the days when guys as a rule chatted up a girl face-to-face, had personal interactions with them, got to know who they really were, and developed relationships with them are becoming extinct even, being replace just by the texting games.
Okay, it still happens, but the process has been cut very short. Now, you can give a guy (that you met at work, school, a bar or club, the bookstore, among friends, and so forth) her phone number, and then you wait.
He contacts you and you two exchange pleasantries via text. Maybe you hang out, kiss, dance, eat dinner even. You thought you had a good time and you want to go out again and text a bit in between. Then all of the sudden, this guy you had a good time with doesn't text you at all afterwards. Or he says a few words like, "Hey, nice date," and drops off soon after.
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Modern Male Psychology Combined with Texting Technology
Instead of giving you two a chance and getting to know you, this guy has decided to just shut down communication because he didn't feel you were "the one" right away. Or if he isn't looking for "the one," then he shut you down because he knew you two weren't going to sleep together, and that might have been all he was after in a girl the first place.
So the guy stops texting you and keeps his eye out for the next girl coming around the bend. More likely, he already has a bunch of numbers of other girls he will play the same game with.
Why are guys acting this way? Because we now live in a world of instant gratification. If the guy doesn't feel that rush of excitement when he's around you, or if he feels you aren't the perfect match for him right away, he just keeps it moving.
This problem runs alongside the disturbing trend of less men being interested in marriage than ever before. That is wrong for both the guy and the girl. While love at first sight happens, more often true love is developed as you get to know someone. Those opportunities are being cut off by men who are simply jumping from girl to girl, looking for their perception of perfection. When it doesn't happen, they cut ties quickly.
Many guys like this texting behavior, though. They don't have to see a girl face-to-face to break it off. They don't have to feel responsible. They keep it impersonal. In essence, they get to walk off scot-free. The only way it is beneficial is that a text drop-off could avoid hurtful words a guy could say to tell the woman why he didn't like her. There are men that will take every opportunity to insult a girl as well. So, trust me, not hearing anything is better than that.
This is not to say that all guys act this way. We all know good guys that treat women well and don't want to waste anyone's time.
Offending Age Groups
What are the offending age groups? How about most of them? Men in many different age groups are acting like this. Not just teenage guys, but just all men with cell phones, period. I have heard the same scenario from women in their 40s, and women in their 30s and 40s started dating in a time before texting was the norm.
Women commonly say things like, "I remember when guys would ask you out on a date, and then another, and you had a boyfriend before you knew it. Now you hardly ever see or hear from them again. Pretty disappointing."
TextAppeal - For Girls! - Text The Guy, Get The Guy!
If You Still Want Him to Text You Back, Try ...
If you really like the guy, arm yourself with texting etiquette that will make him aware you are a real catch. Text Appeal for Girls will give you knowledge of the exact types of situations in which texting will be to your benefit, the types of phrases to use, and when to text them. The advice will help put you on a plane of admiration and respect from guys, and let them know they cannot just play touch and go with you, or YOU will drop them!
A Final Note on the Emotional Effects of Texting Drop-off
Women are still delicate in this day and age, and I don't think that is a bad thing. Women are brought up to feel that they are special, beautiful, lovely, feminine. So when they encounter men who don't "get this" about them, it hurts.
It would be different if it happened once or twice. But if you have been in the dating pool lately, it is simply commonplace. You can have dates with ten different men in a year, and eight of them will simply vanish.
When this constantly happens in a woman's life, the message she gets out of it is that she isn't good enough. In reality, she is good enough. You are good enough. Although not everyone is a match for each other, more people would be if they took the time to get to know each other.
Don't ever put in more effort into texting than he does. It might be a little difficult but you can also stop yourself from sending messages to someone who isn't replying at all.
A man should still do the chasing. You are worth that. If he doesn't want to chase you, if he barely gives you any regard or none at all, then you might want to forget he ever existed. These are age-old rules of courting communication simply applied to new generations of technology.
Original article and pictures take hubpages.com site
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